He left us. He left us.

Sayonara Puteh. 

Woke up from bed. I petted him. He's covered in blood and puss. I tried my best holding my breath in and gave him milk. Like always, he flatly refused. Skinny, hazy eyes..he's basically lifeless. I know it hurt like hell when liquid made contact with his bleeding mouth. He's torturing me. Stop it. Stop it! Why? Everyone....grant me strength. I'm helpless! 2.30pm, mom and Ajim went home. "How was he?" They're surprised. Puteh was still alive. "What?" Yes! He's strong. Indeed. He's strong. Mom then went out to pick Zirah up from school. When they both got home, Zirah came into my room. I was devastated. I held myself together. Ajim was there. Watching the whole scene. Why didn't you call me?! He needed me! He needed me! Guess i was too late. He was by himself. Poor baby.  Struggling till the end of his breath. I won't forgive myself. Yes, I won't. Yes, I won't. I poked him.."Baby, wake up?" Guess he's REALLY dead. Goodbye. Goodbye. Sorrowness. Melancholy evening. Something was missing. Yes. It didn't feel right. That very night. I cried like crazy. 

God bless you darling. Always. Peace.

Puteh. Bangunlah sayang..

Pagi ni aku tengok Puteh. Dia tidur. Aku tatap mata dia. Rasa sayu je. Aku lap darah dia. Aku lap luka dia. Aku suap kn dia susu. Dia xnak. Aku paksa jgk. Aku pujuk, "Minum la Puteh. Makan la Puteh" Payah nye nk pujuk dia. Dulu dia yg pujuk aku. Masa aku tga marah, dia buat muka comel. Dia buat dek xmo gerak kalau aku halau dia keluar dari bilik.

Tapi sekarang . . . . .

Berdosakah aku?

Hinakah aku?

Banyak kali p'soalan ni t'giang2 dlm kepala aku. Aku nk dia macam dulu. Sihat, gemuk, comei. Selalu buat aku marah. Selalu buat aku geram. Bila aku jerit2, ugut nk halau, dia duduk diam2. Langsung xnak gerak (degil cm aku!) Rindu kt semua tu. Kadang2 lepas marah, aku usap dia. Bodoh kan. Marah kt binatang. Buat sakit tekak sakit kepala. Manalah dia nk paham, kan.

FIRST BLOG UPDATE

Just wanted to give you a quick update on what's going on in my life. 
I'm over excited hahaha :D 
Well, for the past two weeks my schedule was quite hectic.
Had to finish 4 assignments which were BMW, Linguistics, BTQ, IRK. 
Imagined how am i gonna survive with that? 
Fortunately, i've a wonderful group members that helped me through. 
Thanks Matun, Asma and Tora. Group huggggg..

So.

Last Wed, BEN's (Bachelor in English) society held a talk for its students. 
We invited Dr.Nora, a lecturer from UIA Gombak and also two of her ex BEN students as the speakers. 
I was one of the committees and i was pretty much looking like a walking corpse. It did sound a bit too extreme eh? 
I WAS EXHAUSTED I FELT LIKE DYING. 
Glad the event went smoothly. 
Alhamdulillah...It was fun, though ;) 
Got bunch of chocholates as gifts~
Yay! 

Oh boy, what a greaaattt dayyyyyyy~